


And So The Balance Shifts

by WhyAreAllUsernamesTaken



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Alternate Universe - Medieval, Fluff, Light Angst, M/M, Minor Character Death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-22
Updated: 2020-03-22
Packaged: 2021-03-01 01:34:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 11,258
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23267053
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WhyAreAllUsernamesTaken/pseuds/WhyAreAllUsernamesTaken
Summary: ‘’Are you like me?,’’ Felix found himself asking, leaving his mother tongue for what it was because he wasn’t sure if the guy would understand him if he didn’t.The guy finally finished observing him and looked him in the eye again, tilting his head in confusion and brows slightly furrowed.‘’Like you?,’’---Chan wasn't anything like Felix and Felix wasn't anything like Chan, but that didn't matter. All that matter was that they found their home in each other.
Relationships: Bang Chan/Lee Felix
Comments: 7
Kudos: 96





	1. Upon First Meeting

**Author's Note:**

  * For [InoruMarufuji](https://archiveofourown.org/users/InoruMarufuji/gifts).



> Long story short; this took way too long to finish.
> 
> Now Lina, I upheld my end of the deal so go upload a new chapter of Divergent Chessboard because I really need that sweet, sweet angst after this.
> 
> IMPORTANT!: I'm uploading the rest right after this so beware of that.

_He is richest who is content with the least, for content is the wealth of nature._

Wise words Felix could agree on, because the wind had whispered them to him when he was younger and had wandered almost too far out, like it knew that Felix had been curious and maybe had been influenced by a sudden onset of rebellion.

Which he really wasn’t so he had turned around even before the last lines of trees could be seen.

And the older he got, the more he started appreciating those words.

Because as he soundlessly stepped onto the cool moss to cross the little clearing – senses heightened because of the dark – he couldn’t be more content. Well, he _could_ but that was the whole reason for his nightly wandering, planning on going to the lake after his little exploration.

One would think he knew just about every little part of the forest by now, but even if he had been living here all his life, there were still so many things to discover.

A couple of weeks ago he had stumbled upon a particular flower he had never seen before; long, stem-like petals which curled up beautifully and turned almost luminescent with the new moon. He had returned the next day but the flower had been gone with no trace that it had ever been there and Felix had been upset at that because he wondered how it looked like in daylight, what colour it was next to that muted fluorescent purple.

He hadn’t seen the flower after that first and only time but that was just the way things were. It comes and goes and that was the exact reason why there was something new to find every day and every night.

By now he had reached the part of the forest where the trees were so packed together that one wouldn’t recognize where they were if they didn’t know their way around, every tree looking the same to the untrained eye.

But of course Felix knew every little detail that set them apart, all slightly different and giving off a different vibe and with different _voices_.

The trees were always ready to greet him, even at this time of night. The emerald leaves – now a silvery black in the moonlight - swaying in the wind and waving at him as he passed them by on his way down to the lake in the valley, making him feel less lonely on his endeavour.

Felix traced the bark of the big oak as he stepped around it. The tree was old much like all the trees and one of the guardians of the forest, always the first to tell him whenever something was off and protecting him from beings that weren’t supposed to be here. 

They stood imposing and had been intimidating to a young Felix, but with the teachings he had learned and understood and now he made sure to always greet them back out of respect and genuine gratitude.

_‘’Txon lefpom livu ngar,’’_ he whispered as he leaned his forehead against the wood, closing his eyes and taking a deep breath as he listened.

There was a gust of wind and with rustling of leaves, he knew he had understood and he continued his way.

The patches of grass licked at his feet like they were giving him a thousand little kisses as an encouragement to keep going, that they’d be there to comfort him as he continued his way.

He followed the little path until he arrived at the large bush, gently reaching out to one of the budding flowers and tracing the petals and like always, the twigs and vines uncurled, revealing the small path behind them. He quickly stepped on the path because if he hurried, he would be just in time to see the fireflies cross the lake to dance around the waterfall in the back, luminating the lake with even more stars. 

And as he carefully treaded down the path meandering down the hill, the sound of the water gently pouring down the waterfall could be heard and then he finally saw the moonlight reflecting from the lake through the trees, so bright that he had to close his eyes for a second before carefully opening them again as he adjusted.

Gentle ripples broke apart the light and made it look like a couple of million precious stones were hidden just beneath the surface of the water.

Felix let out a content sigh as a gentle breeze gently tugged at the ends of his trousers and blouse, just enough to make the fabric flutter but not so much that the movement of air whisked away the heath on his skin.

Like he had hoped, the fireflies were still dancing between the treeline on the right side of the left and he took a couple of steps towards the rocks next to the lake to sit down. He always sat on the same rock and he sometimes wondered if he should find a different spot for a change of view but every time he tried to find a better spot, he came to the conclusion there just wasn’t any.

So with that he made himself comfortable by sitting cross-legged and leaning his elbows on his knees, letting his hands rest in his lap.

The waterfall wasn’t very loud around this time of year – the weather had grown colder and colder, informing him that it would take months before the heath returned and thereby the full capacity of the waterfall – and filled the silent night with a faint rumble, just right to let him know that it was there without being too loud and disturbing anyone in their sleep.

Not that many animals were asleep. He had heard a couple of owls on his way here and from personal experience he could tell that there were a bunch of rodent species still up and about, just like the family of wild cats on the other side of the forest.

It was oddly comforting to know he wasn’t alone at the moment, but then again, he never was. But he had to admit; the feeling of loneliness was something that kept him up at night a bit more often than not lately.

He couldn’t really place it and he wasn’t sure he had given the feeling the right name either, but it was there and made him somewhat restless as he tossed and turned.

So he was overjoyed when the fireflies decided it was time and slowly started coming out from behind the trees to make their way to the water, glowing brighter and brighter as they flew in a single file to the middle of the lake.

Felix liked fireflies the most out of everything because there were just so many of them and they were like stars on earth, like they had been sent down by whoever has the last word way up in the sky to give him a little taste of life way up there.

The fireflies hoovered in the middle of the lake for a bit, almost floating in place as they changed their formation into one big cluster. Felix always liked to think that they did that to check if everyone was still there halfway through their small journey to the other side of the lake.

He found himself smiling at the sight and pulled his knees to his chest, leaning his chin on top of his knees, dreamily looking on from the outside as the fireflies decided to move on to the waterfall.

Then he suddenly heard it.

A snap.

He had definitely heard something snap behind him and he whisked his head around, trying to see what it was.

It wasn’t as if he was afraid, but he wasn’t crazy either and he knew that there were animals around that weren’t as cute as the flying squirrels living high up in the tree tops or the wild hamsters sniffing newly bloomed flowers.

However, as he squinted his eyes as he adjusted to looking into the dark after his eyes had been flooded with moonlight, he saw something he hadn’t expected at all. 

There, right next to a tree, clearly stood a guy, eyes wide and body frozen as they made eye contact.

His hair was a bright white and a little curly and as Felix eyes regained his ability to see clearly, he saw that said guy was wearing clothes that looked completely different from his own. 

His blouse was a rather vibrant yellow even in the shadow of the tree - a colour Felix had ever only seen on flowers – and his trousers had a slight sheen to them, reminding him of water on the rocks or as if he was covered in the juice of a fruit.

By now the fireflies had surely finished their journey to the waterfall and had disappeared into the trees next to it, but Felix was too occupied to realise that fact. After all, he had never seen another person in the forest and he was quite shocked to come across someone after twenty years.

He was nervous – the way his heart started to pound behind his ribcage telling him so – and wanted to run away and hide more than anything, but then the guy unfroze and sent him a dazzling smile with a hint of wonder in his eyes like Felix was something that earned that kind of look.

Then the guy took a step closer, so incredibly slow and cautious like he was scared that Felix would go running if he dared to advance too quickly. He wasn’t wrong though because Felix felt every fibre in his body buzzing with a certain energy that needed to go somewhere and he was trying his best to stay as still as possible because he wasn’t sure what the best thing to do was.

The decision was taken for him when the guy shuffled closer and held his hands up as if he was showing he didn’t mean any harm and with another smile Felix felt himself somewhat relax.

Apparently the guy had caught onto it and dropped his arms, taking a couple of steps closer until Felix could almost touch him if he reached out and he swiftly sat down on the rock next to him.

There was a long silence as they looked at each other and Felix found himself getting lost as he was able to see the guy’s features more now that the moon illuminated his face.

Overall Felix would say he looked gentle, _warm_ and strong, like he was meant to have people behind him and follow him. Call him crazy but Felix couldn’t get past the idea that he wasn’t meant to be here, everything about him giving Felix the vibe he didn’t belong here.

‘’Are you like me?,’’ Felix found himself asking, leaving his mother tongue for what it was because he wasn’t sure if the guy would understand him if he didn’t.

His breathing hitched when he saw the guy’s eyes darting over his face, suddenly feeling like he was searching for something and making him feel oddly vulnerable being observed like that. It was a first and he couldn’t tell if it was okay, but then he realised that he hadn’t heard anything from the trees or the wind so he concluded that would probably be fine.

The guy finally finished observing him and looked him in the eye again, tilting his head in confusion and brows slightly furrowed.

‘’Like you?,’’

His voice was less intimidating that Felix had expected, more warm and with a pleasant tone, a tad bit higher than his own.

It was then that the wind suddenly picked up and tugged at Felix’s clothing and hair again, but he ignored it when the guy’s soft curls got swept to the side, revealing his ears. They were rounded at the top, not like Felix’s. He had seen in the reflection of the surface that his own ears were slightly pointed and he thought that was normal so the guy sitting in front of him was probably not like him.

But then again, their hair colours were similarly white. The only difference Felix could tell was that his own was had a purplish sheen over it and the guy in front of him definitely didn’t, but it was close enough.

And that was a bit scary.

‘’D-do you live here?,’’ Felix changed the question, fiddling with his fingers in an attempt to ground himself.

‘’Oh,’’ the guy smiled, ‘’No, I live in the village nearby,’’

Felix was aware of other beings living outside of the forest – he could see a couple of wooden structures close by if he were to climb a tree near the edge – but he had never dared to get close, everything around him warning him not to and to stay where he was.

Now that guy had mentioned it, he knew his childhood curiosity would rekindle and as much as he wanted to listen to the guardians, he wasn’t going to pass up on this opportunity.

So he shuffled a bit closer until their knees were touching and leaned forward, eager to learn more.

‘’What is a village? Is that those things at the end of the field?,’’ he found himself rushing out, missing the shocked look on the guy’s face until he laughed and leaned back.

‘’How about introductions first,’’ the guy chuckled before extending his hand, ‘’My name is Christopher Bang, but people call me Chan,’’

Felix stared at Chan’s hand, wondering what the guy was doing. He seemed to pick up on Felix’s confusion and laughed again, Felix looking back up.

‘’What’s so funny?,’’

Chan shook his head, ‘’You’re supposed to take my hand,’’

‘’Oh,’’ Felix exclaimed before grabbing the guy’s hand hesitantly, ‘’Why?,’’

‘’It’s the way we great other people,’’ Chan explained, gently squeezing Felix’s hand before doing a weird up and down motion. Felix didn’t get it.

‘’And now?,’’ he asked as Chan stopped, the guy not letting go of his hand and bringing it to rest on his knee instead.

‘’Now you tell me your name too,’’ the guy replied, voice just as gentle.

Oh, he could do that.

‘’I’m Felix,’’ he replied, liking the fact that he had spoken his own name out for the first time. It felt good.

Chan looked at him as if he was waiting to go on but Felix didn’t have the time to try to understand when he spoke up again.

‘’Just Felix? No last name?,’’

‘’What’s a last name?,’’ Felix asked, silently cursing himself for asking. Chan was definitely going to think he was dumb and get tired of trying to conversate with him if this was how Felix was going to be.

The guy’s expression morphed into confusion, ‘’You… don’t have a last name?,’’

Felix shook his head hesitantly, shifting slightly.

‘’Well,’’ Chan chuckled, eyes sparkling with _something_ , ‘’You can always take mine,’’

‘’B-but, if I take yours, you won’t have one!,’’ Felix rushed out, terrified by the mere idea.

He didn’t want to take Chan’s last name. They just met and he didn’t want to come across as ego centrical, taking things from people as soon as offered. It was rude. Plus, he didn’t need it so why would he?

‘’That’s not…,’’ Chan muttered before he burst out laughing. Felix didn’t get it.

Then it was silent for a couple of seconds as Chan tilted his head again, an amused smile on his lips and eyes crinkled, ‘’You are really fascinating, just like grandma told me,’’

Another word Felix didn’t get. However, this time he refrained himself from asking Chan to explain _again_ and he opted for a shy smile instead when the other squeezed his hand again.

‘’My grandmother told me you were special,’’ Chan said after a little while, almost inaudibly like he was talking to himself instead of someone else.

But Felix caught up on it and felt his cheeks heath up. He wasn’t special, far from it, but Chan looked at him like he really was and it made him feel a bit woozy, something he hadn’t really felt before.

‘’Your _kind_ is special,’’ Chan clarified, ‘’My grandma told me many stories about the people in the forest,’’

Felix couldn’t help but ask.

‘’Okay, what is a grandma?,’’ 

‘’The mother of one of your parents…,’’ Chan muttered, brows furrowed as his eyes drifted off to the lake.

‘’Parents?,’’ Felix asked, ‘’What is a parents?,’’

Chan spun his head around, eyes blown wide as if Felix had just asked the most ridiculous thing ever and the younger had to admit he regretted asking because now the guy was certainly going to call him weird and run off.

‘’You are kidding right?,’’

Felix shyly shook his head, not keen on admitting he had no clue what the guy was talking about.

‘’A parent is someone who looks after you,’’ Chan started, ‘’They are adults who raise you, feed you, care for you, love you no matter what,’’

The concept still sounded weird to Felix, especially because it was just him, always had been. Who were these mystery people who were supposed to get him food? He always did the hunting himself and taking care was something the trees did…

Where the trees parents then? But that didn’t cover the feeding or _love_ aspect.

‘’I don’t think I understand you,’’ Felix replied, ‘’What is this love-thing you just mentioned?,’’

By now Chan looked straight-up horrified and Felix was scared he had royally screwed up now and was convinced the older was going to laugh at him for being stupid.

He luckily didn’t and instead of laughing, his eyes turned sad like Felix was missing something, something that was supposed to make him sad for not having it.

‘’Wait… there are more of you, right?,’’ Chan suddenly rushed out like it was a crucial question.

‘’More of me?,’’ Felix tilted his head in confusion, slowly getting frustrated, ‘’What do you mean by that? I really don’t follow you,’’

That night Felix found out that he wasn’t quite like… others. From what Chan had told him he wasn’t exactly human. Apparently people outside of the forest called his kind fae or elf and other similar terms. He didn’t understand why and when he had asked Chan, he had said that he was supposed to posses something many other people didn’t, but couldn’t clarify for him what that was supposed to be. Felix mentioned the Guardians and Chan had latched onto that, telling him that trees and nature in general couldn’t _talk_ or _speak_ , so to say, and that he himself definitely couldn’t do it.

Felix had been baffled but not as much as Chan it seemed because the guy had asked him question after question about it, requesting for Felix to go into detail. He hadn’t been able to explain it well because Chan had only looked more and more confused the harder he tried and in the end, Chan had written it off as one of those things he just would never understand unless he experienced it.

That was as far as they had gotten before the sun had started to come up and Chan had practically sprung up, yelling a quick bye as he rushed back into the forest, leaving a confused Felix on the rocks.

It was now a week or so later and Felix was still thinking about the guy as he lay on a thick tree branch, looking up at the leaves and observing the family of squirrels speeding through the tree tops.

The four little ones were now big enough to scale the tree tops on their own but that didn’t mean that they were good at it. Felix could see the smallest one struggling to get from one branch to the other, frantically looking back and forth as if doing it enough times was going to provide it with a solution. He watched on for a couple of minutes more until his chuckling had slowly turned into pity for the small creature and he got up from the big branch he had been on and carefully stood up.

He could see the squirrel’s attention go to him when he heaved himself up a couple of branches until he was able to reach out for the little fluffball, carefully picking it up before setting it back down on the branch next to it.

The squirrel took off almost instantly without looking back and when Felix followed it, he could see the last of it’s tail disappearing behind the tree next to him.

‘’You’re welcome,’’ Felix muttered to himself as he slowly climbed back to where he had come from, leaning his back against the tree as he sat down and let his legs swing in the open.

The weather was pretty nice and there was a gentle breeze, leaves and branches swaying gently and filling the air with the sound of soft rustling, a sound he had grown so accustomed to that he sometimes didn’t even hear it anymore unless he slowed down and _listened_.

He took a deep breath and tried to push Chan out of his mind and the millions of questions he still wanted to ask the guy, but it was pretty futile. Not that he had expected anything different because he had tried to do so many times the past few days, all equally unsuccessful. 

The many questions made it difficult to focus and he hadn’t slept all that well the last couple of nights, wondering if there indeed were supposed to be more of him, wondering how many more of Chan there were, how it was possible that Chan had managed to get so close to him before he had noticed anything.

But most importantly; Was Chan going to come back?

He did on the next full moon.

Felix had once again travelled down to the lake with the hope that maybe the guy would show up. However, he had almost given up until he heard footsteps approaching him. Needless to say, he snapped his head around and smiled when the guy was standing there, a blinding smile of his face.

‘’Felix,’’ Chan spoke, his voice so gentle that it send a pleasant tingle through Felix’s brain, ‘’I was hoping you’d be here,’’

And they spend the rest of the night answering each other’s questions again, Felix rapidly learning about how Chan’s life looked like and what he did on a daily basis. Apparently he was one of the more troublesome guys in the village, a knack for going against the grain.

When Felix had asked for examples, Chan had watered it down to not agreeing with the village’s way of living most of the time – something about the leaders being hot-headed and not accepting criticism and not caring about anyone who didn’t matter in their eyes – and how that caused him to butt heads more often than not.

And Felix told him as much about himself as well, how he spend most his days wandering round the forest and trying to take care of anything that needed taking care of; from helping out wilting flowers to burying animals who passed away and everything in between.

It didn’t feel like much but Chan had told him how wonderful that was, how he was sure that Felix was the sole reason that he still had some hope left for the world – slightly adjusting his words when a strong gust of wind had made him tip over into the lake.

Then the sun came up and Chan had to leave again, this time promising Felix he’d come back, stopping abruptly as he had taken a couple of steps before turning around again and reaching out for Felix to tug him closer and leaving a quick peck on his cheekbone before dashing away.

This happened the next full moon as well, the one after that, and the next one…

Felix had once asked why he only came during the full moon as he had rested his head on the older’s stomach and Chan had told him that the forest was too dense and dark to navigate through without as much lighting as possible.

Needless to say, the next day Felix had followed the barely present foot-trail Chan always took and made sure that it was more accessible by walking back and forth, continuing for the rest of the days until it was full moon again, finishing off by hauling rocks and stones from the lakeside to make guidelines to make it even easier.

When Chan had shown up he had been smiling like crazy and had rushed over to wrap his arms around Felix, spinning him around in his arms as he laughed and called him adorable - which had done something really funny behind Felix’s ribcage – before promising to try to come more often now that it was easier to find his way.

And he did.

So much so that it was now almost every night.

And Felix always waited impatiently for that mop of curls to come peek out of the forest, for Chan’s tired expression to morph into peace and relief as their eyes met, for Felix’s name to spill off the older’s lips, for that euphoric feeling when Chan hugged him or simply ran his calloused fingers over his cheekbones…

Things like that had him wishing Chan would never leave because the next morning Felix would be alone again and everything would turn into another memory instead of the present. 

Long talks had turned into short conversations now that they didn’t have to catch up on weeks of happenings and more often than not they would fall asleep, somehow ending up with limbs tangled together and leaving Felix a bit giddy when he would wake up in the morning, noticing they were glued together.

‘’Don’t you need to go back? The sun is going to come up soon…,’’ Felix muttered as he snuggled a bit closer to Chan, trying not to sound as disappointed as he felt. Which was really difficult because he was very much disappointed every time Chan turned his back towards him and disappeared out of sight.

‘’I should,’’ Chan replied as he tightened his arms around the younger before sitting up and Felix ending up half in his lap. He sounded and looked oddly reluctant, like he didn’t want to.

Felix liked to think it was for the same reason he didn’t want the older to leave, but the hazy look in Chan’s eyes and the way he fumbled with the hem of Felix’s shirt gave away that it probably wasn’t that simple.

‘’And you don’t want to because…?,’’

Chan sucked in a sharp breath and hung his head, for once looking not like the strong guy Felix came to know him as. And it was unsettling and the worry spiked.

‘’Hyung, why not?,’’ he tried, gently taking a hold of the older’s larger hands.

He got a shy smile but then it turned into a frown and Felix could tell that Chan was trying really hard to think of what to say or how much to say.

‘’Let’s just say that my family doesn’t have a great reputation,’’

‘’What do you mean by that?,’’ Felix wondered out loud.

Chan gave him a soft smile as he pushed some hair out of Felix’s face, once again so gentle like he was afraid Felix was going to break if he was even the tiniest bit rougher. The smile lasted for a mere second before his brows furrowed again, clear lines appearing on his forehead.

‘’It’s not just me they don’t like,’’ he sighed, fingers lingering in the younger’s hair, ‘’I told you about my grandma, right?,’’

Felix nodded carefully, scared that if he would move too much Chan would retreat his hand.

‘’Well…,’’ Chan started, not looking very keen on explaining, ‘’The other people in the village think she’s crazy, believing in… _you_. Even my parents,’’

Chan’s voice had trailed off somewhere halfway through his sentence and his eyes had grown a tad bit sadder,‘’It wouldn’t be so bad if that was it but more often than not I spend my days caring for her and fending off all the people trying to mess with her even more. You have no idea how cruel people can be when they gather and decide to single someone out because they believe in something most people don’t,’’

Felix had no clue indeed but from the look on Chan’s face it seemed like it wasn’t nice and even though he couldn’t quite understand, he knew the woman deserved better. And Felix was happy to hear that Chan was trying to make it better.

‘’And don’t get me wrong, I love her to death, but sometimes it’s just a bit too much,’’ Chan whispered, like he found it difficult to say it out loud.

There wasn’t anything Felix could do but hug the guy in hopes it would bring him some comfort. Chan melted into him almost immediately, wrapping his arms around Felix just as tight.

They stayed like that for a bit more until Chan let out a heavy sigh and pulled away.

‘’Is it okay if I tell her about you?,’’ Chan hesitantly asked, running his thumbs over Felix’s cheekbones, ‘’I think it would do her good and I promise not to tell anyone else,’’

Felix agreed because even if he didn’t know the woman he knew she was important to Chan and to be honest, he didn’t feel threatened at all. 

And when they parted, Chan’s hands had lingered on his cheeks for a bit longer than normal while smiling at him fondly.

Things continued like that for a while and Felix had to admit he was happier than he had ever been. Chan was just so nice and his first ever friend, or something like that because Felix wasn’t so sure Chan’s description of a friend really fit them. At least, it seemed like it missed a couple of things that Chan did.

_’’A friend is someone you can rely on, someone who’s there in the bad times and good times and makes you laugh, someone who supports your descriptions but isn’t afraid to sit you down and tell you when you are wrong,’’_

It lacked the gentle touches, the feathery kisses on his cheeks or temples, the warmth that came from holding each other…

But he didn’t ask about it.

He found out quickly enough anyways.


	2. The Last Time

It was one of their almost regular nights, the two of them hanging out on the rocks near the lake as they talked about everything and nothing, from the way Chan had tripped over his own feet earlier this morning to Felix making his usual walk around the forest, and they had somehow ended up sitting across from each other again much like the first night Chan had shown up.

But this time Felix wasn’t nervous, neither was he scared that Chan would go running off and from the way the older had reached out and held onto his cheeks after counting every little freckle on Felix’s face. 

By now the younger had stopped questioning how his heart sped up every time Chan was near, writing it off as something he just had to accept and deal with. Not that it was anything bad, quite the opposite really because in those moments Felix felt lighter and like there was nothing else to worry about but the older’s lack of sleep.

They had figured out that Felix – by nature – didn’t need a lot but apparently Chan did. 

‘’So you go to sleep after the sun has set and wake up before it comes back up?,’’

Felix nodded and took one of Chan’s hands off his cheek to intertwine their fingers, focussing on one of the many little scars on the older’s hand from years and years of hard work.

Chan shuffled a bit closer – even if that wasn’t quite possible – and let his other hand travel up Felix’s face.

‘’Let me ask you one more question,’’ Chan whispered as he pushed a lock of hair out of Felix’s face, the latter shivering at the guy’s fingers brushing past his temple, ‘’Do you dance?,’’

Felix was a bit too occupied with the feeling of the older’s hand on the side of his head to respond adequately so he nodded weakly, hoping that the movement wouldn’t make Chan pull back his hand.

Unfortunately he did, smiling even brighter than he did before.

Chan got on his feet, reaching out a hand for Felix to take right after. The freckled boy was confused about the sudden action but Chan was smiling down at him so sweetly and encouraging that he didn’t have to think twice about taking his hand and letting himself get pulled up to his feet.

With a rather stern tug, Felix got send forward and almost tripped over his feet if it hadn’t been for Chan catching him, one hand sliding from his upper arm all the way down to his waist before loosely gripping his hip.

Felix felt himself flush at the contact and recoiled back in surprise but he didn’t get far when Chan held on.

‘’W-what are you doing?,’’

The hand on his hip was warm and sent an unfamiliar tingle to his brain and it was almost creeping him out enough to make an attempt to pull back again but Chan directed his arms to his shoulders with a gentle stubbornness, signalling Felix to loop his arms around his neck.

Felix had never been so confused and didn’t understand what the older was trying to do but he trusted him so did as requested, feeling Chan pull him closer as soon as he had done so.

The contact was intimate in a very unfamiliar way and Felix wondered if he should even be doing this, a rational part of his brain sending warning-signals but it felt _right_ in the rest of his body.

Chan chuckled almost inaudibly, eyes crinkling up in a way that Felix had seen him do earlier when he had noticed Felix’s freckles for the first time and how they lit up ever so slightly during a full moon. The sight was endearing and somehow filled Felix with joy even though it wasn’t his own and he wondered if what he was feeling was what Chan had talked about before. The ‘’love’’ thing he seemed so keen on explaining to Felix.

‘’Can I have this dance?,’’

Felix nodded and moved to pull back but he didn’t get far when Chan pulled him closer again.

‘’No, together,’’ the older chuckled, ‘’Let’s dance, _together_ ,’’

Felix wasn’t sure how they were going to do that because he was pretty sure that wasn’t doable in their position, but Chan looked so sure of what he was doing that he just sheepishly nodded again before dropping his head against Chan’s chest out of a sudden onset of embarrassment, desperately trying to breath properly. 

Then he felt the older’s grip tightened and he got pulled closer until he was flush against Chan. He didn’t have time to protest when Chan spoke up again.

‘’You’re cute when you’re shy,’’ he smiled, thumps tracing circles on Felix’s hips like it was the most natural thing for him to do.

It wasn’t and Felix wanted to hide even more because he didn’t get why it made him feel fuzzy and strangely tense, but the older let out an almost inaudible laugh before he suddenly moved slightly to the left, bringing Felix with him as he did so.

‘’Just follow me okay?,’’

Felix nodded, his voice nowhere to be found as Chan swayed them to the other side.

It was weird. Felix didn’t understand what they were doing exactly but he grew used to the motion, especially when Chan started to hum a melody under his breath.

Felix soon caught onto the way Chan moved and he smiled when he found himself having learned something again, the older chuckling in his hair as Felix grew a bit more confident, moving together with the older instead of letting himself get moved about.

But it all ended to soon when Chan was done humming whatever he had been humming, stopping his movement and pulling back ever so slightly to look him in the eye.

And Felix was left a little breathless, swearing he could see the reflection of the stars high up in the sky in Chan’s eyes.

‘’Can I kiss you?,’’ Chan suddenly asked, voice coming out as a mere whisper.

And Felix once again didn’t understand him. After all, Chan kissed him all the time, never once leaving without giving him a peck somewhere on his face.

‘’You always do, why are you suddenly asking?,’’ whispered back, finding his fingers gently running through the hair on the back of Chan’s head.

Felix had liked the older’s curls from the beginning. Whenever he would uncurl one, it would spring back into place as soon as he let go and there was something reassuring about it returning to it’s old state. 

Chan looked at him confused before he hung his head for a second and chuckled, looking back up again with a certain gleam in his eyes and eyebrows furrowed, ‘’Do you trust me?,’’

Of course Felix did so he nodded, nervous about what Chan was going to do but more because he didn’t _know_ rather than fearing it was something bad. Chan would never do something bad, not to him.

So even though he could feel his heart up in his throat, he didn’t protest when Chan’s hands wandered to his cheeks again, cupping them softly before leaning closer.

The next thing Felix knew, Chan was too close to properly see and then he felt a light pressure on his lips, warm and sending a shiver down his spine.

It lasted for just a couple of seconds before Chan slowly moved back again and Felix blinked a few times, trying to ignore the little huff of air that escaped his lips and the heath rushing to his face.

And the older looked at him so sweetly with a tiny smile on his face and all that went through Felix’s head was _Chan, Chan, Chan_ , on an endless loop and he soon found himself smiling back.

But then he heard the rustling of leaves, birds awakening from their sleep and rushing out of the trees while letting out ear-piercing screeches. Chan pulled back, a frown on his face as he looked around but Felix already knew.

He knew.

‘’Chan,’’ he rushed out, wiggling himself out of the older’s hold and pushing against his chest, ‘’You have to go,’’

The rustling grew louder and louder, the wind picking up around him and he pushed a bit harder, desperate to get Chan out of here.

The older frowned even more, ‘’What? Why? What’s going on?,’’

And all Felix could do was do a frantic scan around him and using all of his body-weight to push Chan to the trees, hoping he’d get the message and get moving. Of course the older didn’t move more than an inch before getting on the brakes – what did Felix expect when Chan was definitely more muscular than him – and grabbing onto Felix’s wrist.

‘’Did I do something bad? Is this my fault?,’’ Chan rushed out, ‘’I shouldn’t have kissed you, is that it?,’’

Felix didn’t know, but he did know that the Guardians weren’t happy if they were reacting like this and he needed to figure out what it was that angered them, but he could not do that with Chan here.

It was already a miracle that the guy was allowed here, that Felix was allowed to be around him and it now seemed that he had pushed his luck.

‘’I’ll explain later. I promise,’’

Chan didn’t seem all too happy about it and still didn’t move.

‘’Do you trust me?,’’ Felix used the older’s words against him, hoping it would get Chan to get out.

The older deflated and the previous frown made way for an unsure glint, but the older nodded anyways and let go of Felix’s wrist, ‘’Okay, but I’ll be back tomorrow and we’ll talk about it,’’

Felix nodded and it was on complete impulse that he tugged at Chan’s blouse, getting him closer and pressing their lips together again.

There was the same shiver down his spine but then they got hit by a harsh gust of wind, so much so that the contact broke as they staggered.

‘’Felix? What is going on?,’’ Chan frowned again, the look of worry evident in his face.

‘’Go, now,’’

And for a second Felix was scared that he would have to convinced the older all over again, but after just a couple of seconds Chan nodded again and slowly turned around before jogging off, throwing a glance back to Felix before disappearing into the trees.

That was when Felix got moving as well but instead of going the way Chan had gone, he moved to the right and got running.

By now the wind was strong enough to create small waves and ripples in the lake and Felix knew it wasn’t good so he picked up his pace as he ran along the shore of the lake, taking a harsh turn to the left and sprinting through the now dense vegetation.

He ran and ran until he finally reached the big oak, dropping to his knees next to it as soon as he was close enough and clinging onto it like his life depended on it. 

_‘’Oeru txoa livu,’’_ Felix rushed out, his voice shaky from the sudden adrenaline, _‘’Oeru txoa livu,’’_

He waited patiently as the wind suddenly vanished like it had never even been there before, but nothing happened and he felt his heart drop. 

‘’Please,’’ he pleaded as he let his hands slip away from the bark, ‘’I did not mean to do that,’’

A sharp and sudden gust of wind almost threw him off balance again and he froze, knowing what it had meant and that he had angered the oak, not being truthful like he was supposed to be.

But he was.

He really didn’t mean to do it.

However, the guardians were never wrong. They were always right and knew everything, things Felix didn’t and couldn’t understand himself. And if it was telling him that he was lying, it meant that he was.

And for once he questioned his own knowledge of himself, like there was something he wasn’t seeing, maybe a fundamental problem between his conscious and subconscious he had overlooked. 

He heard wood creak and branches move, confirming the fact that he was missing something.

In the midst of his anxious searching, caught between the known and unknown, he found his mind wandering off. The image of Chan smiling at him, the ghostly feeling of warm hands, his voice ever so gentle…

A swift rush of tingling in his fingertips and on his lips overwhelmed him and that was when it clicked.

He knew he _had_ meant it, that he had _wanted_ it.

There was nothing more he wanted than to feel Chan close, to spend all his time with him, to connect as much as he could.

But what was so wrong about that?

It felt right to Felix and his feelings had never been off or had revoked such a response so he didn’t get what was wrong about it. Still, arguing wasn’t wise.

‘’Just this once. Forgive me,’’ Felix rushed out, ‘’I won’t ask for anything ever again,’’

Still silent and Felix felt the tears well up in his eyes, rapidly filling up and threatening to spill out.

‘’Forgive me this one time,’’

He repeated it over and over again, ignoring how the sun was staring to come out and how his legs had grown numb. He couldn’t give up. He couldn’t give up until he was forgiven.  
And finally it came, the birds moving back to the tree tops and a gentle breeze against his cheek.

He let out a long sigh as the branches of the oak seemed to hover over him. It probably looked daunting and menacing to the naked eye but Felix knew it was a warm gesture, an attempt to comfort. 

So for now everything was fine, but it hurt to think he couldn’t do _that_ again, because he really wanted to.

The moon had barely taken its place in the sky when Chan came dashing out of the forest and to Felix at the lake that night, not even saying anything as he crashed into the younger and wrapped him into an almost bone crushing hug.

And Felix was almost too late when the older leaned in again, but he was just in time and recoiled back. 

‘’We can’t…,’’ Felix muttered out, pressing against the older’s chest, ‘’We can’t do that,’’

The feeling of his heart shattering a tiny bit when Chan’s face fell was unwelcome and not nice at all and he wanted to take the words back and get Chan to smile again, but he couldn’t.

‘’If you didn’t want to you should have told me, not kiss me again,’’ Chan mumbled out, seemingly upset by the idea that Felix hadn’t wanted to.

‘’No!,’’ Felix yelled, startling Chan, ‘’No, that’s not what I was saying,’’

‘’Then why not? You really have to explain to me here,’’

Felix was hesitant to, especially because the older wouldn’t _get_ it, but he knew he had to try, ‘’I don’t know the reason either, but we just can’t,’’

But Chan was so sweet and didn’t press the issue, simply settling for a heavy sigh and a nod.

Everything went back to _normal_ after that, or whatever normal was at this point. They pretended like nothing had happened but it was difficult for Felix to do so whenever Chan’s eyes would linger at his lips as he talked, much like he himself had to try really hard not to do the same.

But that didn’t last even two weeks until Felix made his most life-changing decision ever.

‘’She asked to meet you,’’ Chan muttered near his ear one evening, carding his fingers through Felix’s hair as the watched the fireflies dance above the lake, ‘’but I know yo-,’’  
‘’I’ll go with you,’’ Felix interrupted, ‘’I would like to meet her,’’

Chan’s fingers stilled and Felix let out an annoyed huff, the older snorting before continuing the motion.

‘’Are you sure? Can you just… leave like that?,’’

No, Felix wasn’t sure.

He wasn’t sure how things would turn out if he’d try to leave. He was not sure what would happen if he managed to do that and tried to return. That was the problem.

Still, deep down he knew he would have to try at some point because no way in hell was he going to stay seated in the forest for forever until Chan wouldn’t come anymore. He couldn’t ask that of him. So the decision was made quickly and he made up his mind to try. 

For Chan.

‘’I’m sure. I’ll deal with the consequences later,’’

It took another couple of weeks before Chan brought it up again, sniffling as he told Felix that the woman had started having days she couldn’t quite remember Chan’s name without having to be reminded.

‘’This morning she kept asking where my grandfather was, if he was coming back from hunting soon,’’ Chan whispered, ‘’He has been dead for over ten years,’’

Felix didn’t know what to say, but it didn’t seem to matter when Chan melted into his embrace a bit more and calming down as Felix let his hands make soothing motions on his back.

‘’We can go now, if you want,’’ 

Chan nodded before pulling back, trying his best to pull himself together before shooting Felix a watery smile. It didn’t fit him at all. So Felix figured it was time to take the lead this time and he gently patted the older’s head before getting up on his feet, extending a hand for Chan to take.

‘’Are you really sure?,’’ he asked again as he accepted Felix’s hand and let himself get pulled up, ‘’I understand if you don’t want to. I don’t want to force you to do anything you don’t feel comfortable with,’’

‘’Chan,’’ Felix interrupted, tugging the boy with him into the forest and away from the lake, ‘’I’m sure,’’

It did the trick and the older didn’t press anymore, tightly holding onto Felix’s hand instead.

And as the sun had slowly started to set and with his fingers intertwined with Chan’s, Felix was able to push away this fear deep down his gut. Maybe he’d never be able to return, maybe he wouldn’t even make it passed the last line of trees, maybe something very bad would happen.

He didn’t know but he was about to find out when he could see parts of the large field peeking through the trees.

Maybe it was going to be fine. So far nothing bad had happened yet and with Chan next to him - shooting him another gorgeous smile – he was convinced he’d be fine.

But when they finally stepped out of the forest, Felix wasn’t sure if he should have ever left.

The orange light he had thought had been from the sunset turned out to be fire, a couple of little houses on the other side of the field engulfed in flames.

Chan’s grip on his hand disappeared instantly and by the time Felix realised what was going on, Chan was already way ahead of him, desperately rushing through the tall grass.

And Felix stood rooted in his place, the idea that Chan’s village was on fire and that his family was there. The tears came soon after that but he still couldn’t move, unsure about what he was supposed to do now.

Whenever there was a fire in the forest during hot and dry weather Felix was there quick enough to douse it with water from the lake before it grew out of hand, but what he was seeing now was nothing like it.

It was big.

Too big.

The brightness almost hurt his eyes and he saw big clouds of smoke creeping their way up into the sky, the sound of crackling wood and the heath making it all the way over to Felix and wrapping all around him.

How did this happen? What was he going to do?

Because even though Felix still didn’t understand much about Chan’s life, he knew damn well that this wasn’t good and from the way the older had bolted away before – now just a mere speck against the flames in the background – it seemed like someone really needed to do something.

That was Chan’s home, his life, his… everything?

And Felix imagined how it would feel like if the forest was on fire, flames eating away at the plants and animals cornered and smoke choking out all the insects.

Just thinking about it hurt and made him panic.

Maybe, just maybe, he could do something about this.

It pained him to do so, but he unfroze and rushed back into the forest, the way the plants and trees didn’t move out of his way like they used to do stabbing him in the heart but he knew he had caused it himself and frankly he didn’t care right now.

He could only hope and pray the guardians would give him a chance, hoping they’d overlook how he had disobeyed them by stepping onto the field just a few moments prior. He’d do anything if only they’d grant his wish this one last time.

He’d never come back if that was needed, he’d disappear to the other rend of the world if requested.

He’d gladly disappear from the world in general if that was what it took to help Chan.

It seemed to take forever until he finally spotted the tree and he almost came crashing into the big oak, clawing away at the bark in desperation to hold on.

‘’Please, please do something!,’’ he heaved, ‘’Please help!,’’

Nothing.

Felix looked back and he swore he could _feel_ the heath from the fire creep up on him even though he was too far away for that to be possible and he grew more desperate, continuedly pleading for the guardians to so something to help eve though he knew he had lost that right when he had stepped out of the forest without thinking much about it.

He had told himself that he had thought about that decision long enough but now he really doubted it and if it meant that he couldn’t help Chan out now because the guardians wouldn’t listen to him anymore, he’d regret being so careless.

‘’Please do something. I’ll do everything you ask of me! Just do something!,’’

By now he could smell faint traces of smoke that came wafting into the forest and even though it only worried him more, it seemed to signal the urgency of the situation. 

Because he could hear rustling coming from his right, the sound growing deeper and deeper until it sounded like a faint roaring coming closer and closer. Then Felix felt the air getting sucked away from around him for a second and everything quieted down, everything around him silent.

But then the wind picked up ever so slightly and it only took mere seconds before the roaring came back and closer, closer, closer until it hit him and almost send him flying. He managed to grab onto the tree once again and he shut his eyes tightly as he held on for dear life as the wind rushed past him, over him.

The sound was loud and scary but it was nothing compared to the sudden drop in temperature and the rumbling far above him.

It was only after the wind calmed down that Felix dared to open his eyes and it had grown darker around him. Another rumble guided his eyes up and what he saw were dark and heavy clouds, growing darker and darker by the second until he saw a flash of lighting illuminating the trees, painting big shadows.

And he finally got it.

‘’Thank you! Thank you!,’’ he croaked out.

With that he heaved himself up on his legs and dashed back to the field, not really noticing how he felt the first drop land in his hair. He picked up his pace simultaneously with the raindrops and he tripped over his feet as he made it to the field, seeing the dark clouds migrating from above the forest to the field.

By now he couldn’t distinguish the houses as it was just one big flame and he wished that Chan was okay, that his family was okay.

And then, with another loud rumbling, water came setting down from the sky.

Felix had never seen such a downpour and he was soaked within seconds, but he couldn’t be bothered about it when he watched the flames intently. At first it didn’t seem to do much but through the curtain of raindrops he could see the fire growing weaker and weaker, slowly diminishing as it kept pouring and pouring.

Until there was nothing left.

The smoke was still hanging around but the flames were gone, not a single speck of glowing orange left and Felix let himself fall on his knees with a stuttered cry.

It continued to rain for a bit more until it stopped, the sky slowly clearing up again and now the orange was just from the sun setting and not the flames anymore and Felix had never felt so relieved.

But then he remembered Chan and heaved himself up, staggering over the field.

His feet brought him over to the pile of blackened wood. The closer he got, the louder the screams and hollering got, the more visible the countless damaged bodies got, the more worried he got.

People didn’t seem to notice him there as they ran about but he was fine with that. It made the painful weeping and calls for their loved ones a bit easier to block out as he stumbled through the chaos. 

Chan.

He just needed to find Chan.

So he did his best as he went from figure to figure, trying not to be in the way of people rushing about with arms full of fabrics and buckets of water. It was a horrible sight to see and as he saw children crying as people got pulled out from underneath the rubble, he thought it was finally clicking. He thought he was finally understanding what love meant, what that entailed.

Because it already hurt so much seeing all those people in despair and crying and for a second he imagined Chan being one of those burned bodies.

It felt like a stab to the chest and it gave him the urge to cry as well, something he had never really done much before. 

And then he finally spotted a mob of white curls, kneeling down on the ground a couple of steps away from him. From what he could see, Chan was okay and that was enough for his chest to open up and allow him to breathe properly again.

But then Felix spotted the body laying next to him, skin partly scorched and raw flesh peeking out from the blackened skin here and there and that was when he noticed Chan’s head hanging down and slumped shoulders.

‘’Hyung…,’’ Felix whispered as he crept closer, kneeling down next to him and fingers shaking as he reached out and gripped his arm.

The older didn’t say anything but grabbed unto Felix’s hand on his arm and when the younger shuffled closer and wrapped his arms around Chan, the guy broke his silence.

‘’If only we had been here earlier,’’ Chan choked out, bringing up a hand to cover his eyes, ‘’If only we had been here earlier she would have been able to meet you before leaving,’’  
The air got pushed out of Felix’s lungs when he understood, realising who the person laying next to them was.

Used to be.

Even though his brain told him not to, Felix took a glance at the body. He regretted it instantly and turned back, burying his head into Chan’s neck.

And the older just cried and cried, Felix tearing up all over again. 

He didn’t – hadn’t – known the woman but for some reason Chan’s hurt was big enough to make him hurt as well and so he was reluctant to pull back but he just needed to see those stars in Chan’s eyes to know he was okay.

But all he saw was bloodshot eyes and tearstains.

It was almost on autopilot that he leaned in and softly kissed the older’s cheek, then moving to the other one before moving to his temples. Normally it was Chan doing so but it always managed to make Felix feel at peace and warm so he figured that it would maybe do the same for Chan.

He repeated the process over and over again until he got a small grin out of the older, only lasting a second or so before the sorrow returned.

‘’You!,’’ a voice suddenly barked from their left, startling Felix and he recoiled away from Chan, springing to his feet before he turned to look.

There stood a handful of people, the sheer anger clear on their faces as they pointed at Chan.

‘’You did this, didn’t you?,’’ one of the women screeched.

Chan slowly turned his head, tears still streaming down his face but eyes glinting with fury as he saw the woman.

‘’Why would I do that?,’’ he growled, voice almost cracking, ‘’In the devil’s name, why would I do that?!,’’

The woman was about to launch forward but the man next to her extended his arm, halting her before taking an intimidating step towards them.

‘’Of course it was you. Who else would it be? You’re the only one here as crazy as the old woman!,’’ the man barked, ‘’Did some flower tell you to do this?,’’

‘’Of course not!,’’ Felix found himself interrupting, ‘’The guardians wouldn’t ask someone to do something like that!,’’

And Felix knew he had fucked up when it was silent for a second before the five people burst out laughing, Chan’s back in front of him suddenly blocking his view.

‘’Great, another lunatic,’’ he heard one of the men scoff, ‘’Where did you find him Christopher? Camping out in the forest or something?,’’

That was all it took for Chan to explode and he suddenly dashed forward, barrelling into the man and Felix winced when he saw the man’s head collide with the ground.

And then it was pure chaos again, Chan punching the man’s face over and over again before they got flipped around, the other people yelling and trying to pry the two away from each other and all Felix could do was watch as a fist pounded into Chan’s face.

Felix’s fingers tingled with the urge to do something, to make sure Chan was okay and just when he was about to throw himself in there, the man got pulled away from Chan. He took the opening and quickly ran to him, swerving passed the people blocking the view between the two.

‘’Hyung!,’’

Felix didn’t feel so good when he saw Chan laying on his back, eyes shut tightly and blood steadily trickling out of his nose and onto his cheeks, but he could worry about that later. Everything in him screamed to get him out of here so he ignored the older’s groans as he hoisted him to his feet.

His head rolled around in a way that made Felix want to cry.

Later.

He could do that later.

Felix didn’t hesitate to grab Chan’s arm and throw it over his shoulder, huffing as the older leaned al his weight on him.

Luckily people were to busy calming down the bull of a guy to notice the two of them stumbling away, Felix trying really hard to hurry while keeping the older steady. He didn’t know how he managed to pull it off but one second they were still on the field and the next, the had crossed a little road and up a hill watching over the field.

He was sweating and already so tired from the sudden manual labour but he did his best to sit Chan down carefully, moving himself behind him. He hadn’t even sat down properly before Chan leaned back into his chest, muttering a small ‘thanks’ before his breathing evened out.

And as he held onto Chan as the other drifted of to sleep, Felix let himself cry again.

To be honest, he was scared.

His life had gone from wonderfully carefree to disastrous. Chan’s life especially. 

In less than a day the guy lost his house, his grandmother, his _home_.

The last one not so much, but Felix was not going to let the older go back to those people who dared to claim that this was Chan’s doing. They clearly didn’t know him nor cared about him so no way that Felix was going to let him go.

No.

Felix was going to make sure Chan was okay and smiling, even if that was the last thing he would do.

Because it finally clicked.

He finally understood.

He loved Chan.

And deep down he knew Chan loved him too. 

‘’She was really exited when I told you about her,’’ Chan shyly smiled, busying himself by re-arranging the flowers, ‘’Meeting you would have made her so happy,’’

Felix watched on as Chan brought up his fingers to the wooden cross, tracing the name carved into the wood.

‘’Funny thing is, before I even met you I once asked her about how she could be so strong and steadfast in her beliefs but all she told me was that she didn’t need to explain and that I would know why one day,’’ Chan chuckled, ‘’She definitely knew more than she let on,’’’

From all the stories Chan had told about the woman over the passed week, he wasn’t surprised to hear that.

Chan went on and on about the woman but Felix let him, knowing that this was probably the first and last time they would be here, saying their final goodbyes to the woman.

It had been a hard week.

When Chan had came to after everything had happened, Felix had spend hours and hours listening to the older’s crying, had held on for hours until Chan grew too tired again. He had done his best to rid the older’s face from all the blood, silent tears making their way down his face as he saw bruise after bruise appearing.

But the next day had been a bit better and they had tried to make do with what they could find because even though there wasn’t much, they weren’t going to leave until the woman had been properly buried by the other villagers.

Which they did, oddly enough, but Felix didn’t question it even though Chan had told him numerous times how much the rest of the village detested the old woman.

And now they were here, Chan kneeling in front of the final resting place of his grandmother, trying to stay unseen.

And Felix hated to tell Chan they couldn’t stay much longer, but the sun was starting to rise and he knew the people were about to wake up so he didn’t have a choice.

‘’We have to go hyung,’’ he whispered.

Chan nodded and let out a long sigh before holding up one of the flowers, giving it a kiss before placing it on top of the others.

And as they stood back on the hill again, Felix couldn’t help but look back to the trees on the other side of the field, hoping that there was someone taking care of them - of everything – because he couldn’t do that anymore.

He felt guilty, he really did, but if he had to choose he wouldn’t have done anything different.

‘’We will try to find a way for you to go back,’’ Chan whispered as he caught Felix staring, the little smile not convincing.

‘’No, it’s okay,’’ Felix sighed, turning back to Chan, ‘’There’s nothing for me left there,’’

The older took a step closer and slipped an arm around Felix’s waist, something that had grown normal over the week, ‘’Are you sure? Don’t you miss your home?,’’

Maybe he did, but that wasn’t home.

It had been for years, but Felix didn’t feel welcome there anymore and he wasn’t upset about it. How could he when he got something much better in return? _Someone_ much better?

He brought his hands up to cup the older’s cheeks, smiling when Chan leaned into the touch and looked at him like he was the most precious person alive.

‘’I won’t have to miss it because it is right here,’’

Chan’s brows furrowed, pulling Felix flush against him.

‘’Here?,’’ 

‘’Yes, right here,’’ Felix whispered, running his fingers over Chan’s cheekbones before leaning closer and pressing their lips together.

When he pulled back Chan was smiling so brightly that it knocked the air out of Felix. But then the older leaned forward and kissed him again.

‘’My home is right here too,’’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Glad that's fucking done.
> 
> I was severely staring to hate this fic.


End file.
